Man Is Not An Island

A Seven Year Old With Money

Posted on July 17, 2026 by Doug

I have a good friend that eats, let’s just say, like a raccoon trapped for a fortnight in a dumpster behind Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. A fortnight, for you ahistorical troglodytes, is two weeks. Now that you know that, you can’t wait to use it in a sentence at the water cooler at work, the local construction site, or prison…

The Beautiful Game (Match, but whatever)

Posted on July 9, 2026 by Doug

I suppose in some corners of the Third World, soccer, aka football (I prefer futbol because it seems more elitist) is a big deal. Every 4 years, like the junior varsity locust swarm, the World Cup is contested. I’d say played, but the soccer folk seem to like renaming things, I’m convinced, to troll me personally. Or maybe they do…

Whatever Happened To…

Posted on March 30, 2024 by Doug

If you are anything like me, you notice things. I’m sure I notice the same things most people do, but in a different way. Or, I have the ability to not see the forest or the trees while walking through them, but can draw a bead on an odd-shaped pinecone along the trail. Most often, these insignificant observations set in…

Smart Water

Posted on July 4, 2023 by Doug

If I had to choose a different path to make my many millions, I think I’d like to try a career in advertising. Sure, it could be a fairly stressful gig, but I would be entertained by the challenge of convincing people to buy stuff that they didn’t know they needed until they saw, watched, or heard my marketing pitch….

I Can Only Imagine

Posted on June 9, 2023 by Doug

This headline probably evokes different thoughts from different people. If you’ve spent even a nanosecond listening to Christian radio, you’ve heard the song that bears the same title a couple dozen, if not multiple trillions of times. Don’t get me wrong; it’s a delightful song with a wonderful message. And if you tell anybody I used “delightful” and “wonderful” in…

Beware!

Posted on January 10, 2023 by Doug

Have you ever seen an American Bison in person? To put it mildly, it is an impressive beast. Or I could ask, “Have you ever seen American Bison in person?”, because the plural of bison is bison, at least according to the websites that confirmed what I thought was correct. And not to matriculate too far off topic, don’t you…

The Next Level

Posted on November 21, 2022 by Doug

If you’ve heard anybody selling or hyping something lately, I’m betting they said something about “taking it to the next level”. As often happens, this phrase gives me pause for reflection. Like most catchy sounding phrases, this one has been overused to the point of high dudgeon, at least to this unknown blogger. It necessarily makes a few baseless assumptions….

Fly Fishing

Posted on September 22, 2022 by Doug

I’m not sure why, but it seems to me that a surprisingly large segment of the population likes to make things more difficult for themselves for no apparent or particular reason. Maybe it’s because we have run out of actual problems, and feel the need to create our own. That isn’t to say that the struggle isn’t real, as my…

Thrift Store Theology

Posted on July 8, 2022 by Doug

There are better than fifty-fifty odds, or “fiddy-fiddy” for my many hip-hop enthusiast readers, that you live near a thrift store. At the very least, you know of someone in your town that has a perpetual garage/yard sale, a sort of thrift store without the permits, taxes, fees, and regulations IMPOSED BY THE MAN! Admittedly, not everyone is a fan…

Fram Oil Filters

Posted on April 3, 2022 by Doug

There was once a commercial on broadcast television. Let me translate for whatever gen you younger people call yourselves. You know those brief, annoying videos that interrupt the free content streaming on your smart device, because you are too cheap to upgrade to the premium service? Anyhoo, this ad featured a grease stained mechanic (seen above) lamenting the consequences of…

Egypt Sucked

Posted on January 13, 2022 by Doug

You might be thinking, “Well, obscure blogger, I can’t wait to see where this goes.” Quite frankly, I can’t either. In any case, we’ll get their together, if you can hang with me. Personally, I’ve never been to Egypt. Notice I didn’t say “Me personally”. That’s redundant and unnecessarily repetitive. I’ve never been to New Egypt Speedway either, but if…

$30 Part

Posted on November 16, 2021 by Doug

Let me start by making an assumption, one that is reasonably informed, I’d argue. More than occasionally you get from point A to point B by means other than walking. Nothing wrong with walking. It’s gotten some pretty decent reviews on Yelp recently. I’m going to go out on a limb by declaring that it is probably the most common mode…

What Now?

Posted on September 9, 2021 by Doug

You’ve wanted one as long as you can remember. They aren’t cheap, but you crunched the numbers, pinched the pennies. You toted that barge, lifted that bale. Finally, it’s time to head down to the Porsche dealership, no longer just to kick the tires. I assume Porsche dealership, because of course. You’ve happily accepted the fact that your ’08 Sentra…

New Eyes

Posted on April 20, 2021 by Doug

Most likely, you’ve never heard of “The Adverts”. And that is somewhat believable, although not completely forgivable. I was familiar with their hit song from 1977, if you consider Number 18 in the UK Singles Chart a hit. AHA!, you are not exclaiming, still without a clue about who The Adverts were or what their song was. To end your suspense,…

ACL

Posted on December 7, 2020 by Doug

Yes, these are initials. Initials for what? You might think that you have the answer, but I’m fairly certain that you don’t. Maybe the most obvious, especially among sports fans, is a part of the knee that is prone to fail on the star player from your favorite team at the worst time. The MCL is closely related. Apparently, at…

New Song

Posted on November 15, 2020 by Doug

My wife and I have been members of a handful of churches over the years. For the most part, there have been relatively few dynamics that are met with a lack of enthusiasm, if I may sugarcoat it. Without the sweet glaze, I might call it an unholy derision, as if there is a holy derision. What, pray tell, are…

Hoarders

Posted on October 25, 2020 by Doug

If you watch any amount of television, I’m certain that you have noticed that there is a plethora of so-called reality shows. I say so-called because even if a show is completely non-scripted or edited, which they aren’t, people are in unnatural situations where cameras, lighting, film crews, and other artificial elements are interjected. Put a camera on me and…

My Truth

Posted on October 18, 2020 by Doug

Pack up your Lunchables and juice box and prepare to take a whimsical journey with me to a land of make believe, a veritable utopia of warm fuzzies and positive affirmations. This is a place where everyone is right. It is here that evidence, data, facts, and science are malleable, redefined, or simply ignored. Absent is the tyranny of absolutes; what one says…

Bald Eagles And A Dude On A Unicycle

Posted on September 16, 2020 by Doug

Are you somebody who notices things? I mean, we’re surrounded by things, so the question almost seems rhetorical. We definitely see things, but do we notice them? Are we prone to notice details, shades, degrees, or nuances? Do we even bother to look beyond the quick glance? Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, we don’t have the luxury to stop and see the…

Tuned Out Or Tuned In?

Posted on August 30, 2020 by Doug

We live in an era where seeing somebody wearing on or in ears listening devices is the norm, no longer the exception. And what choices there are! There was a time when the only choice a listener had to consume media on the go was the radio station they wanted to listen to. Every kid wanted a transistor radio, and…

Uncertain Times

Posted on July 25, 2020 by Doug

I can’t ever be sure when these posts are read, if at all. It could even be well into the future, if Supreme Potentate Bill Gates doesn’t remove them from his interweb. As I write this, we are still in the midst, the sort of midst, or never were in the midst, depending on which conspiracy theory floats your boat,…

Brunnhoelzl Jack

Posted on May 27, 2020 by Doug

No, not Jack Brunnhoelzl. George, actually, in case you were wondering. While I’m assuming the great majority of you already know who George Brunnhoelzl is, I’ll give those of you who don’t, because you must’ve been in a different solar system, a quick bio. Mr. Brunnhoelzl invented the lightweight jack used by most top NASCAR teams. The advantages of this…

IPDE

Posted on April 27, 2020 by Doug

You younger people may want to get your “Okay, Boomer” locked and loaded before I start, because you may have ample opportunity to fire it. You’ve been warned. In the summer of 1977, I took driver’s ed in high school. Now, even before the pandemic, driver’s ed seems to be done from home, in conjunction with information from your insurance…

Faith Based Assumptions

Posted on April 16, 2020 by Doug

Dr. Felix Unger, professor emeritus of philosophical diatribe at Universität Düsseldorf, was quoted as saying, “When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me”. With all do respect, I disagree. We make assumptions, consciously or not, all the time. As I write, I assume that someone will read it. Shout out to the ones of you that…

Fore!

Posted on March 18, 2020 by Doug

The road on which I drive to church passes through a golf course. Last Sunday morning, an errant tee shot veered towards that road as I was driving to the aforementioned church. Thankfully and for no particular reason, I was watching the golfer at the time he struck the ball. Instead of heading down the fairway as I think was…

Now What?

Posted on February 8, 2020 by Doug

You’ve just accomplished a daunting task, realized a dream, fulfilled a lofty goal, or checked an item off of your bucket list. Now What? That depends, I guess, on exactly what was done. Let’s say, as an example, you just secured a big account for McMann and Tate, the advertising firm where you work. Or maybe you got through an entire day…

Hold My Bible!

Posted on November 11, 2019 by Doug

As a species, we are quite enamored with those that break the shackles of what would largely be considered normal, mundane behavior. There are no lack of movies and television programs dedicated to the exploits of those that go beyond the status quo, those that either expend the necessary effort or are accidentally thrust into the realm of the extraordinary….

LO23

Posted on September 23, 2019 by Doug

The 60’s was a particularly fascinating decade in this nation’s history. In many ways it was an era of excess. If a little of something was good, more, even much more would be better. Trendsetters in fashion, music, art, and architecture payed homage to past customs and traditions by curb stomping them and setting fire to the remains with 95…

Spaghetti Models

Posted on September 2, 2019 by Doug

So if you’ve never perused my mental meanderings contained in this website, as much as they can be contained, you may be intrigued or bewildered by the title to this post. Or maybe not. Let me alleviate your concerns for my cerebral function by telling you what I am not referring to. This is not about pasta-thin wearers of the…

Coloring Books For Adults

Posted on August 23, 2019 by Doug

Under the heading of “Yet Another Thing That Shouldn’t Be A Thing”, we now have adult coloring books. As the title to this post suggests, I’m slightly more at ease referring to them as coloring books for adults, but between you and I, the concept of a grown man or woman purchasing one, whatever we call them, is quite horrifying….

The List Keeps Getting Longer

Posted on July 14, 2019 by Doug

The internet is a kind of time capsule in which nobody bothers to read the date or time stamp of its contents. The current generation has no idea what it is like to live offline. There are stories, images, and the like that have shelf lives that would make Twinkies and the McDonalds fries stuck in your car seat cushions…

How Close Is Too Close?

Posted on June 26, 2019 by Doug

When I was younger, a lot of my future expectations were shaped by Saturday morning cartoons, specifically the Jetsons. After thinking about it, I was pleasantly surprised to realize that many futuristic concepts in the Jetsons have come to be. Pleasantly surprised, that is, until googling to confirm my assertion. In doing so, I happened upon this image, one that…

Smokes On A Plane

Posted on May 15, 2019 by Doug

Be forewarned: I’ll be taking yet another trip in the ol’ wayback machine, so tap out now if you don’t want to suffer my nostalgic waxings, or musings, or “get off my lawn” buffoonery. There was a time in the not so distant past when people smoked pretty much everywhere. Aside from bathyscaphes or the occasional oxygen tent, and even…

Just Because I Can

Posted on April 29, 2019 by Doug

I recently noticed on something that I noticed recently that Krispy Kreme was marketing lemon glazed donuts. At least in the mind of this “blogger”, the paradigm has shifted for the better. What paradigm, you probably don’t wonder? I’m not sure. How do we classify donuts in the food-type realm? I guess we could deem them breakfast items, although there…

Hurry Up And Wait

Posted on April 19, 2019 by Doug

Recently, I wondered how much time we spend waiting. We wait a lot. When we were kids, we waited for the last bell to ring at school. We waited for Christmas. We, well I, waited all week for Wide World of Sports to finally show some stock car racing, and was wildly disappointed by the scant couple of minutes wedged…

I Know A Guy

Posted on March 26, 2019 by Doug

Truthfully, I know a couple of guys, even bunches of them. But generally speaking, when a guy says that he knows a guy, he isn’t simply making the statement that in the course of his life he exchanged handshakes, fist bumps, high fives, noogies, or whatever the cool kids do these days with another guy and now knows the guy….

All But Extinct

Posted on March 15, 2019 by Doug

Admittedly, I’m a cultural Luddite. I’ve only seen the first two Star Wars movies, which I think are episodes 3 or 4 or something, and I couldn’t tell you the difference between Marvel and DC, comic book or movie-wise. To me, Grand Theft Auto and Mario Kart may as well be the same game. And Fortnight is a time span,…

Sinners, Saints, and Pop Tarts

Posted on March 2, 2019 by Doug

I was meeting with some Christian friends the other night, discussing things that matter to the body of Christ and by extension, the world around us. Central to our conversation was the mandate to reach others, the redeemed and the lost, through the written word. Important questions asked included, “How can we improve our craft?” and “How can we expand…

A Man Can’t Just Sit Around

Posted on January 21, 2019 by Doug

We all dream, at least according to the 30 second cursory “research” I just did on the interweb. Much of what we dream about is immediately forgotten, either too insignificant or fleeting to leave a lasting impression on us. And that might not be a bad thing. When I was a kid, I had a recurring dream about an individual…

Christian Cannibals

Posted on January 13, 2019 by Doug

Seems to me that we don’t hear much about cannibals these days. When I was a kid, I had the impression that cannibalism would be much more prevelant in my adult experience. Not that I would be personally involved, either “giving or receiving”, mind you. While I’m thinking about stuff that I figured would be more common, doesn’t it seem…

Are You Charged Up?

Posted on December 31, 2018 by Doug

Hey, kids! Let me take you on a stroll (or whatever you kids call a stroll) down Memory Lane, Wayback Avenue, Jeepers I’m Old Boulevard . To set the context for those of you that don’t know what its like not to have a phone in your pocket or to have to get up from the couch to turn the…

The Hallmark Syndrome

Posted on November 19, 2018 by Doug

As of this writing, we are approaching Thanksgiving Day. This means, of course, that we’ve been inundated with Christmas movies for a couple of weeks now. In and of themselves, Christmas movies are pleasant distractions during this season, usually leaving us with the feels and a positive message about faith, hope, and love. Spoiler Alert: Hallmark did not originally trademark…

Ripples

Posted on November 12, 2018 by Doug

Like you, I love to watch time travel movies. You don’t? Get thee behind me, Satan! I kid. If there’s anything we’ve learned about time travel from fictional books and movies, in contrast, I suppose, to documentaries about the subject, we know that you’re not supposed to interfere. Either that, or you are. According to the interweb, its absolutely necessary…

You Shouldn’t Have!

Posted on October 9, 2018 by Doug

Take a look around you. Unless you live under a bridge or in a refrigerator box, or both, it wouldn’t take but a moment or two to cast your vision onto something you have but don’t really need. And if you are checking my out website from under a bridge or in a refrigerator box, thanks for stopping by, figuratively…

Good, Better, Best!

Posted on September 22, 2018 by Doug

Way back when I was in the seventh grade, in what was then called junior high school, we had a mandatory class called “core”. To the best of my recollection, it combined social studies and English. Or quantum physics and Sanskrit. Or interpretive dance and the native language that involves weird clicking noises. It was, after all, 45 years ago…

#InMyFeelings Challenge? Just say NO!

Posted on September 5, 2018 by Doug

You may have recently stumbled across the latest internet challenge to go viral. It is called the #InMyFeelings challenge, apparently named after a song I don’t care to hear by an artist that I wouldn’t recognize if he gave me a root canal. Which, ironically, I’d sooner endure than listening to his music. To the blissfully uninformed, the #InMyFeelings Challenge…

It’s Robot Fightin’ Time!

Posted on July 17, 2018 by Doug

Disclaimer: I’m not entirely sure if some of the content on this post is trademarked, copywritten, registered, sacrosanct, or otherwise protected in any other sense. So I will plead ignorance, knowing that there isn’t a single court in the land that would rule differently! Did you know that before 2016, the Happy Birthday song was still under copyright, and thus…

At Last!

Posted on June 13, 2018 by Doug

Have you ever waited a really long time for something? Better asked, have you never waited a really long time for something? I would dare speak for everyone when I declare that we all have waited, are waiting, or will wait for what we may deem a seemingly interminable season. Granted, what we consider insufferable tarrying changes as we age,…

Windows OS, BSOD, and Rage- Why Bill Gates Is The Devil Incarnate

Posted on April 16, 2018 by Doug

Okay, perhaps Bill Gates is not the devil incarnate. But follow my line of reasoning, and perhaps agree that he is the root cause of technological anger and frustration throughout the universe, nay, even the Solar System. Bringing affordable and essentially limitless connectedness, information, resources, and cat videos aside, let me opine. And save your “first world probs” comments. Do…

Serving Size

Posted on October 20, 2017 by Doug

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there is a groundswell of unrest sweeping across this nation. “Thanks for that insightful observation, Captain Obvious”, you may rightfully be muttering to yourself. But I’m not referring to the contentious rhetoric and growing divide surrounding politics, protests in sports, bat guano crazy dictators with nukes, climate change, gender identity, or even pumpkin…

Don’t Eat The Hushpuppies!

Posted on October 12, 2017 by Doug

Perhaps you are reading this and wondering, possibly aloud to the bemusement of your fellow Starbucks patrons, “What are hushpuppies?” Maybe you are asking, if you have to scroll for more than a few seconds to get to your birth year on a dropdown website menu, “Why would I want to eat a sensible, comfortable shoe?” Or you’ve possibly taken great…

We Love Us Some Us.

Posted on January 26, 2017 by Doug

Harken back with me, if you will, to the days of yore. But before doing so, notice, especially fellow grammar nazis, that I used the correct spelling of “yore”. Although the less aged among you may find this hard to believe, there was a time before social media and blogs, reality television, digital photography, and “selfies”. Back in the day,…

KEEP LEFT

Posted on October 16, 2016 by Doug

My wife and I traveled to the Bahamas recently, enjoying a long weekend and a well needed getaway. This was our second time in New Providence, having been there before on a cruise. While getting there via a well-appointed Royal Caribbean ship and docking within walking distance of downtown Nassau certainly had its upside, it is somewhat equivalent to visiting central…

Scraping Mud.

Posted on September 9, 2016 by Doug

This is my friend Mike’s old race car which he raced on dirt in the street stock division at Potomac Speedway in Budd’s Creek, Maryland. And while I didn’t help much, I did get to play a very small roll in getting the car ready for Friday night competition. You may be wondering just what the heck the racing surface…

Wait For It…

Posted on September 4, 2016 by Doug

Who among (amongst?) us hasn’t spent a minute or 3 hours killing time by watching videos on social media or YouTube? There are entire digital reams of bandwidth dedicated to whatever hobby, interest, sport, political cause, spiritual bent, or obscure craft that winds your watch. And yes, there are videos about watch winding. Personally, rednecks blowing stuff up, guys and…

Have It Your Way!

Posted on August 7, 2016 by Doug

“Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce, special orders don’t upset us, all we ask is that you let us serve it your way…” Those, members of my generation may recall, are the lyrics from a Burger King jingle, I’m guessing mid 70’s? And that, at least as I remember him from commercials and artists’ renderings, is NOT the real Burger King. If…

You da Man!

Posted on July 17, 2016 by Doug

I’m pretty sure the great majority of people have heard, or even spoken the phrase “You da (the) man”! So I went to the source of all information to try and discover its origin. And as is often the case, the Internet was of little to no help in my quest for knowledge. But it has to have started somewhere, right?…

Pokémon? NO!

Posted on July 14, 2016 by Doug

So there I was, simply living my life and minding my own business, and I heard something about “Pokémon Go”. When my kids were much younger, I remember the Pokémon craze, but I thought the cards were only collected, traded, bought and sold. Come to find out, much to my dismay and bewilderment, that people, not just kids mind you, met…

Immovable Object

Posted on July 10, 2016 by Doug

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. (Isa. 26:4) The LORD God is referred to as the Rock, or even better, our Rock in a number of places in the Bible. And because most of us, especially those that were the original readers of the Scriptures know what a rock is, it is an apt metaphor. One of the most familiar attributes of…

#Hashtag

Posted on June 24, 2016 by Doug

One of the more interesting contrasts between generations is the advance of technology. When I was a kid, amusement and time killing consisted partly of riding bikes, playing ball, tag, war, or hide-and-seek (outside), watching TV, and playing with toys or board games (inside). Lest you think my age peers whiled the day away by whittling, jumping in the swimming hole,…

Friends Don’t Let Friends…

Posted on June 13, 2016 by Doug

Not sure when and where the term “Friends Don’t Let Friends…” started, but I’m pretty sure it was tagged originally with “Drive Drunk”. BTW, wouldn’t it be great if there was a way to answer that question, a device with limitless sources of information on which to research a topic? Some day… But I digress. Not letting a friend drive drunk…

Travel Mugs and Truth

Posted on June 7, 2016 by Doug

In my hackiest, open mic comedian voice, let me ask these questions: What’s the deal with travel mugs? Shouldn’t we just call them adult sippy cups and go about our business? Whatever you call them, the average American will own a minimum of three dozen or so in their lifetime. They come in all sizes, shapes, composition, and branding. The image above shows…

Mom’s Rhetorical Question

Posted on June 4, 2016 by Doug

If we were to allow our thoughts the liberty of wandering “back in the day”, I’m sure there are certain bromides or truisms that our mothers used to not-so-subtly make a point or convey a message. Among the most universal “momisms” has to be the question, or one very similar, asked with directness and more than a tinge of sarcasm: “If…

Peas and Carrots

Posted on May 30, 2016 by Doug

Most of us will remember that in the movie bearing his name, renowned theologian Forrest Gump said that he and Jenny went together like “peas and carrots”. Certain things just seem to belong together. To those of us that remember having to physically get up and change the channel (usually only 4 from which to choose) on the television, we may…