Recently, I wondered how much time we spend waiting. We wait a lot. When we were kids, we waited for the last bell to ring at school. We waited for Christmas. We, well I, waited all week for Wide World of Sports to finally show some stock car racing, and was wildly disappointed by the scant couple of minutes wedged between weightlifting and lumber jacking, or whatever you call climbing things, chopping things, and rolling things in water. Call it what you want, but I wouldn’t call it a sport. Having said that, I noticed that Dennis Conner was mentioned as a legendary athlete on the WWoS Wiki page. Who was Dennis Conner and what did he do, you might inquire? Based on my extensive research, he spent a bunch of time in the sun on an expensive yacht. Minus the hedge fund, the guy with the cardboard sign on the traffic island could also be deemed as a “legendary athlete” by Wikipedia.
As adults, you’d think we’d get the hang of waiting for things, even trying to avoid the process altogether. Consider the following examples as proof we have a very long way to go. Drive by a movie theater when the latest super hero or Star Track (work with me, I’m trying to make a point) movie premiers. You will find adults, many dressed in costumes for crying out loud, queuing up hours ahead of time. If you are nine, I get it. If you aren’t, wait a week or two, go to the matinee, save a few bucks, and sit where you want. And if you’ve ever dressed as a Wookie for any reason, regardless of age, check yourself out of the gene pool. Immediately. Do you find yourself sneering at these ne’er-do-wells? Ne’er-do-wells, BTW, is one of my favorite phrases. Anyhow, did you stand in line for the latest iPhone? For the love of everything good and holy, WHY? And if you camped out for two nights in front of Best Buy before Black Friday to save $100 on a television, we can never be friends. Ever.
Admittedly, these examples may seem a bit extreme. But if you’ve ever stood up on an airplane the second it reaches the gate, only to awkwardly hunch over and crane your neck while the crew does whatever they do to attach the thing to the thing, you, sir or ma’am, are no less guilty. Sit down and relax. You’ll still scissor into line and stand behind the guy that can’t figure out how to retrieve his bag from the overhead rack with the rest of us. How did he get that to fit in the first place?
Waiting, ultimately, is inevitable. But it can be time well spent.
(Click “Stand On Firmer Ground” for a deeper look into Hurry Up And Wait)
Stand On Firmer Ground