I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there is a groundswell of unrest sweeping across this nation. “Thanks for that insightful observation, Captain Obvious”, you may rightfully be muttering to yourself. But I’m not referring to the contentious rhetoric and growing divide surrounding politics, protests in sports, bat guano crazy dictators with nukes, climate change, gender identity, or even pumpkin spice v everything that was perfectly fine before it was decreed that it must be added to all that we consume. BTW, if the pilgrims would’ve envisioned the day where this great country dismissed the sanctity of what should be a pie-specific flavoring, THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE LEFT SWITZERLAND! But I digress.
Pictured above are “Nutrition Facts”, which I am assuming is required on all packaged food sold. I’d look it up, but I really don’t care. Anyhoo, one can find some mind boggling info if one actually looked. Most mystifying to me is the “Serving Size”. I purposefully used a package of Fig Newtons, because they are universally loved. If you don’t like them, you are a heretic and part of the problem. If you’ll notice, the alleged serving size for Fig Newtons is 2 cookies. Let that sink in for a minute. 2 cookies!!! I burned more than 2 cookies worth of calories by simply finding the tab and peeling open the stupid bag! By their own math, a package of Fig Newtons contains 10 servings. And these are 2017 Fig Newtons, not the Fig Newtons from “back in the day” that were the size of an average wallet. And do you know what’s exponentially more stupefying than that? A bag of kale the size of a pillowcase “only” contains 5 servings. Now I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, which is more gratifying? Don’t answer! It’s obviously a rhetorical question!
In an era of shrinking containers and recommended portion sizes, there is an eternal and constant source of abundance, that which truly sustains and satisfies. And contrary to the draconian (hyperbolize much?) guidelines listed on our Fig Newtons (Girl Scout Cookies, etc.), we are encouraged to feast on this food continuously, for our good! For genuine nourishment, consider the following words found in the gospel of Matthew:
Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”
I would broaden out the “bread” to include Fig Newtons, kale, and every other kind of physical nutrition.
(Click “Stand on Firmer Ground” for deeper look into Serving Size)